Category: We B Late Blog
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A Miraculous Blessed Event
If you were shocked last week when I told you I was a 60-year-old virgin, hang on to your hat for this week’s news! I’m pregnant! Teachers always warned us it could happen the first time, and they were right. I came home from my first Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop on Sunday great with …….
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Roseanne Roseannadanna Was Right!
I was so careful. I did my very best Santa imitation… and I’m not just talking about my bowl full of jelly. I made a list and I checked it twice, and even crossed things out as I packed them away. I have slippers and four pair of shoes, including sandals for the balmy 39…
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The 60-Year-Old Virgin
No one would mistake me for a virgin. Even if you didn’t know about my husband and three children, there’s my obvious postpartum physique, which I have not only maintained, but enlarged upon, for over 30 years. And yet, I am a virgin. In fact, this week a bunch of us virgins will gather in…
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Going Through Hell in a Handbag
I’m going out of town Wednesday and thought it would be a good idea to clean out my purse before I left. That way I don’t have to worry about getting a ticket for not stopping at the weigh stations on the highway, since my pre-purge load was roughly equivalent to that of an 18-wheeler….
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More Than a Mother-in-Law
My mother-in-law, Juanita Stephans, died on February 24, after 86 memorable years. It was my honor and privilege to write and deliver a eulogy at her funeral on March 2, and I am including the text below. If you weren’t lucky enough to know Juanita, I hope this brief remembrance will provide a glimpse into…
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Long Live the Queen (Obviously)
Happy Birthday, Your Majesty! Queen Elizabeth II just celebrated her 90th birthday, and she has spent more than two-thirds of her life (63 years… and counting) as the Queen of England. To put that in perspective, here’s a gallery of how many U.S. presidents (and counting) it takes to equal her reign. I can’t…
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Donald Trump Could Make Me Vote Republican
If you know me at all, you know that I am a Democrat. A far left, bleeding heart liberal pacifist Democrat. I think the risk of a few welfare cheats is a small price to pay to make sure the people who really need help get it. I would never have an abortion, but believe I only…
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Pondering A Writer’s Life
Having learned of the death of Harper Lee yesterday at the age of 89, I felt compelled to read further about her life and her work. In 1960, this first-time writer published her one and only novel: To Kill a Mockingbird. (Yes, a “sequel,” Go Set a Watchman, came out last year, but it didn’t…
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What’s in a Name?
When they got married, my mom and dad made a deal. She’d name the boys, and he’d name the girls. Well, first up was me, and I spent most of my childhood explaining to other kids that I didn’t have the same first name as the guy on Bonanza (“that’s Lorne Greene – one syllable!”)….
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If I Were a Rich (Wo)man…
“Dear God, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be poor. But it’s no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?” Tevye’s prayerful introduction to the classic “If I Were a Rich Man” from “Fiddler on the Roof”…