Roseanne Roseannadanna Was Right!

I was so careful. I did my very best Santa imitation… and I’m not just talking about my bowl full of jelly. I made a list and I checked it twice, and even crossed things out as I packed them away. I have slippers and four pair of shoes, including sandals for the balmy 39 degree weather. I have enough makeup to stage a production of The Mikado. I brought a brand new notebook and package of pens, every charger I could find to unplug, and even a bath bomb that was rolling around on the back floor of my car, probably from Christmas, just in case I wanted to soak in the tub.

So, as expected, after just one night at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Conference, I came back after breakfast filled with enthusiasm and inspiration to write about the new friends I’ve already made, the great ideas shared, and how cool it is to be sitting in a hotel room sending dispatches to my readers like Erma Bombeck herself.

That’s when I discover, after finding just the right spot and just the right chair, and opening my nicely charged computer, that my mouse is sitting right where I left it, 346 miles away on the kitchen table.  Ugh!!!

Yes, I know there’s that lovely little touch pad underneath the keyboard, just waiting for my loving caress. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve begged, pleaded, sweet-talked it (ooh, your skin is sooo smooth!), even offered to buy it dinner. But every time I try to use it, it either opens up the wrong thing, or changes my zoom to either 500% or 50%. The good news is I know now where to click to change that setting back to normal, which would be really easy — IF I HAD A MOUSE!

It’s funny, because it took me a long time to get used to using a mouse when they first came out (yes, I’m that old).  Having always been a typist, it was strange for me to take my hands off the keyboard. In fact, if I really stretch my memory, I might even be able to tell you which F-keys in Word Perfect did what way back then.  I guess I could relearn them, but right now I’m busy dealing with a F-ing touch pad!

So, instead of my bath bomb taking me away, I guess my car will be … to Walmart. It wasn’t top on my list of sights to see in Dayton, but then I’ve already proven that following lists isn’t my best thing.